The One That Got Away
by TwilightFicZoneContest
Summary: Nothing lasts forever. I learned that the hard way the day Jasper Whitlock's red pickup truck backed out of my driveway one winter morning almost four years ago. We had been young, in love and maybe a little more than foolish. Full summary inside


**Title: **The One That Got Away

**Pictures Chosen: **15,19

**Word Count: **3016

**Pairing: **Bella

**Summary: **Nothing lasts forever. I learned that the hard way the day Jasper Whitlock's red pickup truck backed out of my driveway one winter morning almost four years ago. We had been young, in love and maybe a little more than foolish. He wanted a muse, I wanted him.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own, I just play. May be a bit sad.

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><p>Nothing lasts forever. I learned that the hard way the day Jasper Whitlock's red pickup truck backed out of my driveway one winter morning almost four years ago. We had been young, in love and maybe a little more than foolish. He wanted a muse, I wanted him.<p>

It was never going to work.

I see that now, as I sit and watch him lovingly dote on his wife, Alice, from across the room. He looks so happy now. I watch him as he hands her another gift, careful of her growing belly, and think back to when he was mine.

I remember the summer after high school, sitting in his car making out and listening to music. The feel of his heated skin touching mine, the promise of forever in every kiss. His kisses always tasted like whiskey and mints. We told each other every secret that two eighteen year olds could have.

He told me how his music was everything to him, how he hoped to one day be like Johnny Cash. I'd bat my eyelashes and told him as long as I could be his June Carter. The idea sounding perfect at the time. Now though, I can see all the glaringly obvious flaws of that idea.

Then there's Alice.

As much as the idea killed us at the time, going off to college that fall meant breaking up, if only till summer break. He met Alice in one of his classes, and after helping him a few times with homework, I became a part of his past.

He came home that first summer with shorter hair, new glasses, and Alice. I came home with a broken-heart. When we had our first fight, it was over winter break; it was a few days before he had to go back to school and it was of course about 'us'.

"There is no 'us' anymore Bella. And maybe there should have never been an 'us' to begin with." he spit the words at me with pure venom in his voice. I fought hard to keep my tears from falling until after he had left.

"What do you mean? Jasper?" I scooted closer to him on the bed, placing my hand on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest.

"Don't. Just don't Bella." He removed my hand, standing up and facing me before speaking again. "I'm sorry, maybe in time...with time...we can be friends...I love you." I'm not sure what made me do it. Fear of losing him, hearing him say he loved me. I can't tell you now. But sitting on my bed, watching him move towards my bedroom door, knowing I may not ever see him again like this caused me to say the words I will always regret.

"Fuck you, Jasper! Why? Why now? Do you actually think Alice is better for you than I am? Think she 'gets' you?" I paused, watching his eyes look at me in disbelief, unsure of what he should say to me. "She's not, and she won't. Not like I can. You can't love me if you love her."

"Then I guess I don't love you, Bella. I have to go, but I hope to see you before I leave."

"You're making a big mistake, Jasper."

"I know. Bye, Bella." With that, he collected his jacket and walked out of my door. I didn't go see him before he left' I didn't see him again until he showed up at my Mom's funeral two years later. He had offered me a hug in condolence and that's when I noticed his hand. A bright shiny gold band now gracing his hand.

"Really?" I asked, holding up his left hand in front of us, my eyes starting to mist up.

"Bella...I..." he sighed, running the hand I wasn't holding through his hair, again searching for the right words to say.

"You didn't think to call and tell me? When?"

"Last summer. What was I supposed to say? 'Hi, Bella, guess what? I'm getting married to the woman you told me was a mistake.'?" His eyes pierced into me as we stood in a face off in the middle of the funeral home.

"Yes. And while you were at it, you should have said 'Sorry I was an asshole friend, I didn't mean to break your heart. How's Charlie?'"

Jasper snorted, rolling his eyes. "I'm sorry I was an asshole friend. How's Charlie?"

"So you meant to break my heart then?" I started to walk away when his hand grabbed my arm, holding me in place.

"We were eighteen, Bella, that wasn't love, that was a foolish crush."

"Foolish crush? And so what is it with Alice then? Is that love?"

"It's love to us, yes. I love her." I waited for him to say that he loved me too, but after a minute had passed with us just staring at each other, I knew he wasn't going too.

The tap on my shoulder brings me out of my remembering. I turn to see Jasper, two glasses of wine in his hand, waiting to sit down beside me. I nod as he hands me one of the glasses, taking the empty seat.

"Alice really knows how to throw a 'surprise party' for herself." I take a small sip, watching him as he glances off in Alice's direction smiling.

"That she does. I've never met anyone like her."

"So, where's Carlisle today?" He turns to me, setting his glass down on the table. I feel his eyes burning into me, taking me in.

"Where do you think? Working of course, he said he may come later in time for cake, but he sends his congratulations to you both." I set my empty glass next his, putting my hands back in my lap and twirling my ring.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He stops my hand from twisting my ring again, grabbing both hands in his. I looked down at our entwined fingers, his skin warm and comfortable against mine.

From under the sleeve of his shirt, I notice a few new tattoos, taking note of the one that's missing.

"It's gone." I looked back up into his eyes, trying to hide some of my hurt that he had removed yet another piece of us.

"What?" He gave me a confused look, looking down at our still joined hands.

"Our tattoo...the matching tattoos we got that summer after high school, yours is gone." I unhook one of my hands from his, wiping at a stray tear on my face.

"Oh... yeah. I did that a few years ago, it was just time to grow up, leave all my childhood memories in the past...Bella?"

"No, it's...fine, I understand... I still have mine," I push up my own shirt sleeve, turning my wrist to show him the small-half circle with the words "Follow me, I'll Follow You" written across it. When we put our wrists together, it made a full circle, complete with the tribal heart in the center. "It always reminds me of you...of us... What could-." I stopped my thought, there was no point now to wonder 'what could have been', everything was already as it should be.

Even if it would never feel like it.

"What could what?"

"Nothing. Looks like your wife needs you." He planted a kiss on the top of my head, walking away from my table, leaving me to go back to my remembering.

I thought back to the two of us sitting in the tattoo shop, taking turns holding each other's hand as we were tattooed, joking about how dead we would be when our parents found them. Jasper driving us out to the rocks that over looked the city, watching the lights below on the hood of his car as he played the guitar softly.

His voice deep and rich as he sang to Johnny Cash's "Walk The Line," it was 'our' song, though thinking back now, I'm not sure why. I loved watching him play, no matter what the song. The way he would hold his guitar as if he was holding a woman...holding me. He'd lose himself so much to the music, letting the world around him fall away.

I hadn't realized how much I had missed his voice.

Hearing the laughter from the other side of the room, I look up just in time to see Jasper pressing his ear to Alice's large belly, starting to sing softly. As much as I tried not to, I pictured myself in Alice's shoes. Jasper singing softly to our baby inside me, looking lovingly at me as he hands me a new box to open. I planned our 'what if' future in my head as I continued to watch them enjoying the moment.

After Jasper left, I tried to put any thoughts of what life with him would have been like out of my head. It wasn't fair to torture myself over something that wasn't mine anymore, instead forcing myself to move on.

I met Carlisle my senior year of college, he was going back to school to get his Masters degree in medical science before taking MCATS, and then medical school, I was going for my Bachelors in Art. We had a lot in common, and became the best of friends, bonding over Dali paintings and The Beatles back catalog.

He was funny and honest, and understood my unusual tastes in music and movies. We got married shortly after I graduated. He was also never around, after finishing school himself; he jumped head first into his work at the hospital. Leaving me alone most of the time. I guess it comes with the territory though, being the Doctor's wife.

Collecting myself and my thoughts, I get up heading over to join in on another baby game as I feel a hand grab at my arm, turning around to see my out of breath husband holding a very late baby gift.

"Sorry I'm late, how much did I miss?" he asks, setting the box on the table and kissing my cheek.

"Not much, but she's already opened gifts, we're playing games now. Where were you?"I ask, turning to make my way back to where everyone is now wrapping toilet paper around Alice's middle.

"Got held up in Surgery. I'm sorry."

Reaching the group, Carlisle following closely behind me, I'm again reminded of everything I missed by not being with Jasper now. With Carlisle's workload and my new job teaching art, kids just didn't fit in to our life. I'm handed a roll of toilet paper from Alice as she turns to give me my turn. Seeing Carlisle standing behind me, baby gift in hand, she raises an eyebrow to me in question.

Never really having much interaction with Alice in the past, I wasn't sure if she remembered my husband or not as I stepped to the side to introduce them.

"Alice, you remember my husband Carlisle?"

"Yes, of course, I never forget a face. Glad you could make it finally, Carlisle."

"Congratulations to you, Alice." He smiled handing her his gift.

"Thank you both for coming, it means a lot to us. Would you like to play as well Carlisle?" she asks, handing him a roll of toilet paper as well.

"Yes, thank you."

I watched my husband play the baby shower games laughing and enjoying the party around him. He looked so happy and carefree, just like he did when we first met. I felt a pang in my chest, as the feeling that this was another thing that I was missing out on with Jasper. I had never seen him ever look stressed, he just always enjoyed life.

As I watched Carlisle twirling his third roll of toilet paper around Alice, I felt someone come and stand beside me, turning to see Jasper. There was a small crinkle in his eyes as he watched the sight in front of him, smiling.

"You're happy right?" He nudged my shoulder gently, looking around him for chairs for us.

"I'm happy, Jasper," I forced a smile as I turned to look at him. "Are you happy?"

Finally finding two abandoned chairs, he motioned us towards them. And sat down in his before answering me.

"I'm very happy. I have the woman I love, a new baby, and ...you."

"Me?" I raised my eyebrow at him. Hearing him mix me in with Alice and a new baby as the things that made him happy made an odd feeling wash over me.

I thought I would be past feeling jealous now, I had always claimed that emotion as wistful.

"Yeah, you. You're like one of my best friends, Bella. I'm glad you're still in my life after everything we've been through."

"That wasn't all my fault." I sat back in my folding chair, fighting the new wave of emotions that bringing back the past was doing to me.

"Bella... that was a long time ago, you're here now, were friends, that's all that matters."

"That's all that matters now? Not the nights I cried myself to sleep cause you didn't call or finding out at my Mother's funeral that you got married. Or what about that morning in my bedroom when you told me there should have never been an 'us'? It doesn't matter?"

"I... Bella ..."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." He looked into his lap, playing with his wedding ring.

"How would you, you left me. I wasn't 'The One' anymore, you proved that when you removed our tattoo. You broke my heart, Jasper."

"So what do you want me to say, huh? That I take it all back?" he whispered, glancing back at the party still going on obliviously around us. My husband now looking into a diaper filled with melted chocolate, guessing what the candy was.

"Are you getting mad at me for telling you how I felt?" my voice raised above a whisper, Jasper shushing me.

"I'm getting mad at the fact you're telling me all this now. That I hurt you and never knew. That..."

"What? That you met me? That you invited me?" I felt the hot tears burning my face. It was too late now to try and hold back my emotions, all my cards where already laying open and bleeding on the table.

"No!" he yelled looking around to see who noticed...no one. "No, that...I... that I gave up on us. That I didn't try harder."

"What?" My barely holding on heart couldn't take this, I was sure it was going to give out right here in front of Jasper at this fucking baby shower.

"I always thought the reason we ended that summer was cause you didn't want to be with me anymore. I always thought of you as the one that got away," he snorted, looking at me sadly.

"Jasper..."

"Wait, let me finish."

I nodded, letting him continue.

"I love Alice, with all my heart. But I guess I always carried that flame for you. That 'what if'."

"Can I talk now?"

He laughed, nodding. "Yeah."

"When you left me that day, I didn't know what to think...feel...anything. You left for college with promises it would always be us, and came back with Alice." I took a deep breath, collecting my thoughts.

"Bella..."

"My turn remember? I was hurt, mad, confused. I wanted so bad to hurt you like you had hurt me."

"You did."

"So I see, now. I love my husband, he's a good guy. We have a good life, nice house, and nice things. But..."

Jasper interrupted me, holding his hand up in front of me. "But he's not me."

"Yeah. I guess so. You're my...what did you say? My 'one that got away'." I smiled, touching his hand.

"So what do we do?"

"We get up from this table, go tell our spouses how much we love them, and our glad we have them. We move on, be friends. What's the past is the past now, Jasper. I'll always love you." I paused, looking over to Carlisle. "But my life is over there now." I pointed to Carlisle.

"Yeah, my life is Alice. I still love you too, Bella." He leaned in, giving me a gentle hug. Pulling back to see Alice and Carlisle walking over to us, folding chairs in hand.

"Looks like the real parties over here, Carlisle." Alice teased, finally sitting down beside Jasper.

"Guess so. So what have you two Chatty Cathy's been talking about all this time, that left me alone with a room full of women?" Carlisle joked, looking between me and Jasper, a curious smile still on his face.

"Just life and memories, the 'what if's' and 'could have's'." I answered, smiling at Jasper.

"How... entertaining."

"You have no idea."

"So, Bella, any plans for brats of your own?" Alice asked, clearing the small silence.

Me and Carlisle both answering 'no' at the same time, then laughing and letting me have the floor to answer her better.

"Maybe one day. We aren't in any rush." I patted Carlisle's leg, watching Alice lean into Jasper's side, as he put his arm around her, kissing the top of her head.

"Well, I think everyone is starting to leave, you ready to clean up and go home? I'm getting tired."

"Yea, I'll go get the car to load the gifts."

"You need any help cleaning up, Jasper?" I asked, starting to collect empty cups.

"No, we're good, Bella." he smiled, walking for the door.

Somehow, I knew he meant more than just offering to help clean.


End file.
